


Black Water

by Faltering_Light



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Found Family, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Unofficial Adoption, one sentence implication via flashback
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:28:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23062471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faltering_Light/pseuds/Faltering_Light
Summary: Sedation can be both a blessing and a curse
Relationships: James T. Kirk & Christopher Pike
Comments: 3
Kudos: 91





	Black Water

**Author's Note:**

> This is a teensy excerpt from a H U G E WIP involving I think like six people??? idk, it's been on hold for a long while while we all deal with off-screen stuff, but definitely five or six of us lol. It's basically a TOS/AOS/Disco fusion with Extra Angst, Extra Gay, and Extra Gay Angst. Some of us are gonna individually post our own "deleted scene" type stuff as it was before it got tweaked in group editing just for kicks! This scene is set during the summer of Jim's second year at the Academy, where the directors (? might've been one of the writers, close enough) for AOS confirmed that the nasty cloud thing on the Farragut still happened... while Jim was on board doing his Shakedown Cruise with a crew mostly comprised of his classmates. It went down the same as TOS in AOS, meaning half the crew died. Here, the Enterprise under Captain Pike was close enough to respond to the SOS, Chris has been told to sit the fuck down by Una and Boyce before he passes out due to [REDACTED: SPOILERS], and none of them expected to lift Jim- Pike's favorite cadet, one of the kids they helped pull off of Tarsus way back when Pike was still a Lieutenant- so _obviously_ he had to sit with his kid.
> 
> Extra note, Jim not being able to swallow is a Real Medical Thing that happens when you wake up after you lose way too fricking many of your red blood cells, surprise! It usually doesn't last very long, thankfully.

The first time Jim wakes, he is on fire. On fire and freezing, all at once, like hitting vacuum. His mouth opens, and feels himself screaming but doesn’t  _ hear _ anything. He tries to  _ get up _ _,_ to get _ away _ _,_ and can not move.

A wash of relief spreads through him from his wrist, and he gives a sob of relief as he slips back under, finding safety in still, black water.

* * *

Antiseptic. The faint ozone of sterilization fields. Soft beeps and whirs and hums. Pain, dull but throbbing and everywhere, like he’s been running for days and days and never safe to stop, never safe to slow down, just hiding and then running, and running,  _ never stop moving,  _ it isn’t  _ safe - _   
  
“Jim?”

A hand on his, even when he flinches.

“Kid, are you awake? Can you hear me?”

He forces his eyes open. Too-bright lights, blurry equipment, blurry face, blurry gold shirt, but he knows that voice. “L’ten’nt Chris...?”

He slips under before the Lieutenant responds.

* * *

A whimper, one that sounds too old to recognize as his own.

Kevin crying in the background.

The sharp tang of phaser fire in the air.

Captain Garrovick dropping, too pale, white and blue skin pulled taut around eyes frozen open in shock.

Another whimper, Kevin clinging to the hem of his Cadet reds, begging, “Just one more bite, JT, please? I’ll be extra good, please? Just one more?”

He pushes him back out of the way with one hand, the other trying to steady his phaser but he’s shaking too much and suddenly he’s not that much bigger than Kevin again, just like back on Tarsus, and it’s getting close and Kevin shouldn’t even be here and  _ why won’t his hands stop shaking- _

Another wash of cool water, and he drifts into the black more slowly this time.

* * *

He wakes again and he’s crying this time, soundlessly, no noise from this, not since then, when crying too loud would wake the kids, wake Sam, wake Frank, wake Bones...

A hand on his cheek, brushing away some of the wet. “It’s okay, Jim, I’ve got you.”

“L’ten’nt Chris?” His voice is rough, broken, and he can feel himself shaking now.

“...Yeah, kiddo, it’s me.”

“‘S not... ‘S not right, ‘s  _ Captain _ Chris...”

A choked sob, and not from himself. “It’s Captain  _ Pike _ _,_ Cadet.”

“‘S just Chris, old man.”

A laugh, and Chris squeezes his hand. “Yeah, only to you, maybe. You back with me, kid? Think you can stay awake for me this time?”

“Yeah... Yeah, I can do that.” He swallows. Tries again, and the biobed starts to shrill an alarm as his pulse spikes.

“What’s wrong?” Chris’ grip on his hand tightens, and the chair squeals a protest as he rocks to his feet when a Doctor Jim doesn’t recognize comes running in, already shooing Chris back out of the way.

Jim forces himself to sit up, only for the Doctor to press him back down by the shoulder as he taps at the readout panel. He’s gentle, but his voice is sharp, focused. “What happened?”

“Chris, I can’t swallow, I can’t, I need to-” He didn’t realize he was moving again but he had his hand out reaching for Chris, and there was a hand on his shoulder holding him down and it was just

_ a guard on Tarsus, brick rough against his skin where his clothes are ripped now and smoke in his nose, asking how much he’s willing to trade for it _

_ Frank, the edge of the kitchen counter digging into his back, right under his shoulder blades, holding him still while he yells about George again, how it should have been him here instead _

_ held down on the floor of a bar, another fist in his face _

_ the sensation of falling, being pushed back out of the way when he fails to start firing, eyes locked on Captain Garrovick’s as the man falls _

And now he can’t breathe, and he still can’t swallow, and Chris is  _ still on the other side of the room  _ and he’s still being held down by someone he doesn’t know-

The wash of the sedative is terrifying this time, the black water threatening to drown him instead of rocking him gently to sleep.

\-----

His head is more clear the next time he wakes.

He’s on his side now, and he’s not sure how he feels about it looking like he was still reaching out for Chris even in his sleep.

He takes a moment to look at the man in question. Chris is sleeping in the chair next to his bed. The bags under his eyes look more like bruises. His arms are crossed- there’s no telling how stressed Chris is now, dealing with the Farragut...

But has he been? He can’t remember waking up at any point and Chris not having been there.

“Jim?” It’s weird to see Chris so uncertain, like he’s not sure if Jim is actually awake or not, and he needs to ask quietly so he doesn’t wake him just in case.

“Thought you said you weren’t gonna be here to save me, ‘f I fucked up out here.”

Chris lurches forward before he can even start to regret opening with that, and suddenly he’s being held, cradled and warm and safe like he hasn’t been... Hell, since Tarsus almost, this isn’t nearly the same as being held by Bones, that’d be weird, Chris is...

Chris is crying, rocking him gently. “I never, never should have said that to you, no matter how upset I was. You didn’t deserve that, you didn’t, and it could’ve been the last thing I ever said to you-”

“I did. I was... I made it look like I was just dicking around, and I-”

Chris pulls back just enough to cradle his face between his hands, making sure they make eye contact. “Jim,  _ no _ _._ No matter what happened, you did not deserve that. You could have skinny dipped in the fountain outside Archer’s office and you still wouldn’t have deserved that. That’s just... That’s not something you say to someone, especially someone you  _ care _ about, you understand?”

He nods, and Chris pulls him close again, rubbing his back a bit before he presses the call button.

“We’ll talk about this again later, just to make sure it sticks when you’re not still drugged to the gills- and don’t think I missed that line about making it ‘look’ like you were goofing off instead of working, we’ll be talking about that too,  _ young man _ _-_ ” Jim can’t help snorting at the tease, loving that Chris is making sure to keep it light for him even though he was serious about talking about that too, “But for now we need to get Phil in here. He’s got some tests to run now that you’re awake, think you can handle it?”

“Geeze, Dad, I’m pretty sure I can handle a few scanners.”

They both freeze for a moment when they register what exactly he had said.

“So, uh... I’m... On the good drugs, right?” He hadn’t used the right sort of tone there to play it off as sarcasm, as just teasing right back.

Chris ruffles Jim’s hair, face carefully neutral. “It’s fine if that’s really the reason, but if it wasn’t... I don’t think I mind.”

For a second he remembers a brief flash of his mom- Chris is making the same face she had after Tarsus, like she wasn’t sure he’d let her kiss his forehead if she went for it.

The memory and the moment shatter when the Doctor walks in, the same one who had held him down last time.


End file.
